For the last time, people.
Chickens like dying.
Yes, chickens like dying. All chickens like dying.
Newly hatched chickens. Child chickens. Tween chickens. Adolescent chickens. Young adult chickens. College graduate chickens. Chickens with respectable careers. Senior citizen chickens.
All chickens. The entire panorama of chicken life, chickens representing every stage of chicken development. They all want to die. For you. For your neighbor. For whoever.
Okay, let's be honest. They don't care who's going to eat them. They'd probably be fine with getting run over by garbage trucks and left to rot in the sun.
Dying reaffirms their faith in an unjust universe, which, being living things, chickens are heavily invested in. No, no, it doesn't make sense. Of course it doesn't make sense.
But understanding this basic—and thoroughly unintelligible—point is key to grasping the idea of Moy P, a blinged-out, Irish faux-gangsta chicken who raps about wishing to die.
(Thanks to Dr. Stephanie for the referral.)
Addendum: Here's an old Moy Park chicken ad, from his innocent banjo-picking days. Less "street," sure, but every bit as insane.