Showing posts with label frog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label frog. Show all posts

Monday, November 22, 2010

Packard's: a Festival of Cruelty Special Report

The most recent installment in our Festival of Cruelty series wasn't that long ago, and we won't be due for the next scheduled episode for another six weeks or so. But we can't sit on this any longer. We have been seeking images of the (Northampton, Massachusetts) Packard's menu for months and we finally have them.

From the moment we first glimpsed the menu, a year and a half ago, the memory has haunted us. And seeing these images again reminds us of how we became obsessed.

Like other exhibits from the ongoing Festival of Cruelty, these showcase a raw meanness, an iconoclastic blatancy. To go out of your way to demonize and brutalize the animals who became your food, to treat them as utterly undeserving of any but the harshest treatment… Well, it's practically thrilling. Because it's entirely unnecessary—the animals are dead, the food they were made into is in the ovens even now—it has the power to grab us by the throat and insist that we take note.

And take note we did!

We saw the chicken immobilized in a contraption straight out of a supervillain's daydream, its wings about to be buzz-sawed off, to land in baskets filled with the limbs of previous victims. The chicken, paralyzed in mute horror, holds up a sign reading "Why?!" As any "food" animal should know, the answer is, "Because they can."

Below the de-winger is a scene of true depravity: amid the stink of rotting carcasses, beloved figures from our collective childhood huddle outside a Bates Hotel for unsuspecting animals, their legs and wings amputated, their stumps bleeding through the bandages. (It's the in-your-face flipside of this old post.) We've seen "food" animal amputations before (here, for instance, and here), but it's presented by Packard's with such stinging spite that it seems brand-new. Sesame Street's Count Von Count mocks Big Bird's phantom limbs. And do you see the posters on the brick wall? Packard's wants Foghorn Leghorn and Baby Huey so they can hack them apart too!

Animals on crutches, animals pushing themselves around in wheeled boxes, animals slowly dying. On a menu? At a place where you're going to eat? On purpose?

We want you to see the other Packard's menu art. (Click the images to see them bigger.) Like the tableau above, they're positively brimming with an unstinting hatred for animals.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Suicide Snacks: quickies 3

Even long-winded diatribadours need to take a break to catch their breath every now and then. That's where our popular series of "quickies" comes in.

(Have a nice visit with our most recent installment, won't you?)

We suppose that the Fogal Meat Market is located in the basement of Minitrue, Oceania's esteemed Ministry of Truth. For, you see, FOGAL = Fed On Grain And Love. Ah, yes. Love.

The stage that follows FOGAL is OBSAL. You know: Offed By Sledgehammer And Love?






The folks at Old Hickory have been tinkering with Mother Nature. Thus, their twisted handiwork: Progs! Pig/frog hybrids have long been the suicidefoodist's holy grail. Long-legged, floppy-footed, they spring onto the grill of their own accord. It's a revolution in animals that hasten to cook themselves!




Speaking of helpful entrées, Big Table Farm's silverware-sized pig trots right to your table with a replacement fork when you drop yours!







"When I take a sip of Cherry Blossom BarBQ Sauce, I get the sensation of being a morbidly obese hog stuffing its face with cherries until it chokes on cherry-flavored vomit!"

(Are those commercials even still on?)





Monday, February 4, 2008

JT's Fish House

The horror. The horror.

The homely mural offers a panoply of carnivory's promise. The animals have been defiled in every possible way, and they respond according to their constitutions:

The cow and pig, long used to man's depredations, flee. The legless frog wheels himself away. (He's positively peeling out!) The chicken raises her bandaged wing-stumps in pitiful impotence.

But whither the shrimp? The shrimp, obviously a disciple of suicidefoodism, is alone in welcoming the treatment he will receive within the walls of JT's Fish House (in Mentone, Alabama, just over the Georgia line). And the shrimp is in for the worst of it! He's an all-you-can-eat sacrifice, available on Wednesdays and Thursdays! But he's ready. The worse, the better. It's practically the war-cry of the suicidal animal.

We must ask: Are the shrimp's sunglasses merely an outward manifestation of his inner cool, or, in keeping with the theme of the mural, evidence of his disability? In other words, is the shrimp blind? Are they boiling and eating shrimp eyes in there?

(Thanks to Dr. Katie for the referral and the photo.)






Addendum: "Enjoy" this imagery from similarly-named suicide food eateries.