Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Rocky Junior Frying Chicken

This is the first suicidefoodist graphic we've seen that was designed to appeal specifically to tweens. Rocky Junior—he's clearly identified as a minor—has the backward baseball cap, the oversized basketball shoes, and those two (2) big thumbs up. "Awesome!" This fowl has "cool" written all over him and attitude to spare.

The behind-the-scenes quality of the packaging is also noteworthy. They give us the Nickelodeon-watching youngster—the crazy faux-iconoclast—to subvert our rational responses. "To irrepressible Youth!" we say as the years melt away. "Why, I remember when I was a spring chicken..."

But then—why?—those two chicken legs, that crimped and naked gooseflesh! The illusion is dashed and our discriminating minds get something to grab onto.

"Rocky Junior Frying Chicken is people!" we scream as we run down the street in our pajamas.

Or, at least, it's not some cartoon character on a hideous plastic wrapper. It's a flesh-and-bone bird that's been sent through the scalding tanks and hacked apart.


Anonymous said...

Fair's fair, though - "Raised without antibiotics"..........errrrr-is this supposed to make the customer think he/she is buying a healthier bird, or just one that was culled before it died of something nasty (even nastier than human intervention, that is)?

Anonymous said...

The rooster thrusts his chest forward in a dominance display, tilting his head up smugly with his thumbs raised, standing in triumph right next to the helpless, exposed crotch and ankles of the dead hen. A classic frat-boy sexual conquest that reduces the hen to nothing more than cold, consumable meatstuffs.

Surely this deserves more than one noose.

Ben said...

The opinion of the judging panel is final.