Sunday, November 16, 2008

California Sea Urchin Commission

For too long have the ranks of death-hungry "food" animals included only the well-known creatures. Cows, pigs, and chickens, of course. Also buffalo, ostriches, deer, shrimp, fish, lobsters, clams, crabs, goats, sheep (both juvenile and adult), ducks, rabbits, and turkeys. Even worms, a squid, an octopus, a bear, and a snake have taken their turn on the stage!

In that august company, the sea urchin might have reckoned itself too obscure, too insignificant to merit attention.

But no!

Spike is here to proclaim—in tones of rejoicing—that all creatures can look forward to their eventual exploitation! None shall be overlooked! None shall be left out!

The suicidefood movement is a big tent. All are welcome within its sickly, grasping embrace! Let all have a seat at the table plate to rest upon!

Sea urchins are every bit as capable of devoting themselves to the culinary whims of their human overlords as, say, those glory-hogging pigs and cows. They are finally shaking off centuries of neglect and saying, "No more shall you assume we wish to avoid being eaten! No more shall you fail to carve holes in our shells and properly handle our—in the words of the Commission—'liquid' and 'black parts!'"

What a day! Not only for echinodermkind, but for us all!

(Thanks to Dr. Jonathan for the referral.)


David Moss said...

Thanks a lot. I lost a perfectly good mouthful of wine laughing over the snake subverting the conventional pig/cow/chicken/lamb hierarchy. (spike the sea urchin's pretty funny too.)

Jeffroe said...

I heard that vegetarians are the alternative meat source,save a tree,eat a tree hugger! Plants are people too.

Anonymous said...

Whoever wrote this blog seems very troubled about his or her reality that humans have been consuming animals for centuries just like lions eat deer and coyotes hunt and eat cats and dogs and maybe a rat or two.

This author's concern should be on more important topics like Monsantos and gmo non- germinating seeds linking to tumors in mice.

Sea Urchin are organic and have essential nutrient rich properties. Perhaps good old George Carlin can help you.