Friday, June 27, 2008

Little Redi

Little Redi is only the third youth-oriented chicken-related mascot we've profiled here. (The first was Rocky Junior, the second Zax.) Good point: this is hardly a write-home-able distinction. But Redi is the first youth-oriented, nuggetized chicken-related mascot we've profiled. Stand tall, Redi! For you are an ambassador for all undead suicide food.

The undead phenomenon is familiar to you, isn't it, thoughtful reader? These are the burgers, chops, and franks—and now, thanks to Redi, nuggets—who linger even after death. One meager life as an animal devoted to the glorious proposition that it lived merely to die for humans was never enough! And so, they rise, to be dominated and consumed in a new (in this case nuggetitious) form. Somehow, they rewrite the foundational laws of life to be reborn, casting off death like it was an oversized basketball shoe.

If only they could die twice! Ten times! An uncounted multitude of lives pledged to insatiable carnivores! This is the fantasy of every undead "food" animal.

Haltingly, they stalk food courts, the frozen food aisles of the world's grocery stores, and neighborhood barbecue joints in search of those who would devour them.

Haltingly? Did we say haltingly?

Bah! Look on Redi here. Remember, he is brimming with youth's promise! He is sportiness incarnate, bold and beautiful

Whatever the scene—"when you want great tasting appetizers or meals"—he is ready! In his haste, his sheer, youthful, go-getter readiness, he has left his shoelaces untied. Even his ball cap is worn erroneously. All of his considerable energy goes to getting himself cooked and eaten!

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