Saturday, June 21, 2008

Springer Mountain Farms Jingle Contest

Banjo Chicken provides the perfect opportunity to examine the so-called Happy Meat movement. This school of thought is suicidefoodism's more scholarly sister.

"All vegetable diet!" boasts their website. "Antibiotic FREE! Free farmed! Environmentally focused!"

See? This is a paradise for chickens! Much better than the bare-bones, three-hots-and-a-cot conditions most poultry prison inmates endure.

Why, things are so good at Springer Mountain that Banjo here wants to sing about it! He wants to encourage others to sing about it. He wants a catchy jingle to come out of all this, so that a steady stream of customers will insure that plenty of chickens get to enjoy Springer Mountain's hospitality and responsible stewardship of our Earth and all her corn-pecking children!

Which is all just another way of saying that this makes no sense whatsoever.

(Did we mention that the winning jingle will earn its composer a year's "supply" of Springer Mountain chicken meat?)


felix j. bedingfield said...

It disgusts me to think of what a year's supply of poultry would look like.

Really enjoy your blog. I've linked it from mine. :)

Lauren said...

I've also noticed that the stitching on his jean overalls seems to invoke a certain cutting pattern...

Anonymous said...

Why do omnivores think an all-vegetable diet is great for their chickens but unthinkable for them?