Suicide Snacks: quickies

As much as we love a good treatise, it is a demanding form. Sometimes, we confess, we yearn for something simpler.

Thus, these low-effort efficient entries, the first in what we hope will be a successful feature.


Yes, it certainly is.





It is curious that sentient, self-aware creatures can declare themselves to be nothing but a few of their bodily parts. Such is the eternal contradiction of suicide food! Curious also that the company's actual name is We Are Ribs.






Buxom, huh? Talk is cheap, chicken. Let's see the goods.

To be fair, Buxom Poultry doesn't deal in chicken breasts. They are no sexualizers of birds. No, they manufacture equipment to eviscerate and otherwise literally violate chicken carcasses.




Really, now. Is there any better way to highlight the free-range lifestyle of these chickens than to show them confined to a roasting pan?

(And, all right! We grant that this isn't actually suicide food. But if the dead and steaming chicken's face were visible, we're confident that it would be smiling.)