Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Wagon Wheel BBQ Catering Company Inc.

The Wagon Wheel gives us a new twist on a standard theme. Pinky (as the website identifies him) is not simply preparing to dive onto the grill. No, he has contrived to be sent from present-day Stilwell, Kansas, back in time to the Papal Inquisition, there to subject himself to horrors unending and the torments of the soul. Thus, the act we see the pig performing in a state of near-ecstasy. "The Devil's Bicycle," as it is known in the alternate universe under discussion, involves the penitent pedaling a burning wagon wheel, all the while dodging the Holy Spit.

We have never before met Pinky, but we know him all too well. His pathology, his utter shamelessness... Cross-eyed, he goggles humorously. His lopsided ears waggle. This has become a staple of suicidal food and it's almost more than we can bear. We look away. To spare him? Ourselves?

His Act of Faith—his auto de fe—is, truly, the sacrifice he was born to make, one that Wagon Wheel patrons receive with gladness, sloppy-fingered and besmeared of face. Still, we must ask: What weight does his sacrifice bear if it was Pinky's destiny to perform it? Could a pig so suicidal have done any different?


Paul said...

They made sure the (ahem), "animals" that they butchered in the movie Motel Hell were quite contented, too. Someone once said that if people actually saw how their food was made they would not want to eat it. ("Anyone who respects laws or sausages should not see how either is made.")
Sort of like the ads for Shards
-o-Glass freeze pops
, would anyone seriously buy meat products if they saw the results or what happened to the animals.

Anonymous said...

"What weight does his sacrifice bear if it was Pinky's destiny to perform it?"

The answer is to add weight and certain chemicals to the patrons/ "consumers" who ingest Pinky and follow him in good faith towards their similar destiny.

"Combustion sources such as gas stoves, fireplaces and barbeques contain or produce
a large number of chemicals, including acetaldehyde, benzene and carbon monoxide,
known to the State of California to cause cancer and/or birth defects or other
reproductive harm which are found in the air of this complex. Any time organic
matter such as gas, charcoal or wood is burned, Proposition 65-listed chemicals
are released into the air."