The animals, they love to fight. They are not the placid nibblers and grazers you have been encouraged to believe. No, these animals have claws. By which we mean, of course, formidable fighting skills. We've seen all manner of kicking chickens. We've seen boxing ruminants and the battling barbecued.
This is merely the movement's latest tawdry development. A cow, a chicken, and a pig get pumped, don the gi, and put up their dukes, respectively. And all to accomplish what, exactly? Not to combat the power of barbecue to overwhelm them. They've lent their names to sauces created to coat their cooking flesh! No, no. They fight for… Well, not honor. (Is there any honor among lunatics?) You're looking at it wrong. They fight not on their own behalf. They fight for those who would kill, cook, and eat them.
He who makes the most auspicious sacrifice wins. Or... something?
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