Apple Valley Country Store

The suicidefoodists have given us so many twisted visions that we are hardly surprised by this one. Still, we do owe some admiration to the pork-purveyors for hitting on the imagery of a brazen pig windsurfing through the flames, his pork-eating grin outshining the fires around him. (More kudos: our Satanic Surfer is the smuggest pig we've seen in a while, even more hateful than the creep found here.) He smiles, he laughs at death! And what better scene to put folks in the mood for pork sandwiches ($7.00) and 1/2 racks of pig ribs ($14.00)?

Still, the muralists have presented us a little puzzle: the pig is obviously in Hell. (The flames are shorthand for the inferno as surely as canals signify Venice.) And yet the symbolism is not in accord with Dante's vision: our pig is currently in the Sixth Circle, amid its heretics trapped in flame. (Where else could he be, with that backdrop?) But… is heresy his chief sin? He is godless to be sure, but that is not his cardinal infraction. So, our mystery: if not the Sixth, then what is his final destination? Is it the middle ring of the Seventh Circle, land of faithless suicides? Or the Ninth Circle—specifically the zone called Caïna (the place of Cain), realm of those who have betrayed their own kin? He would be equally at home transformed into a thorny tree in the Seventh or entombed in the Ninth's frozen lake of Cocytus up to his neck.

Of course, in the end, what really matters is that he has sacrificed himself and betrayed his own kind. And all for nothing! That is his gravest flaw. Perhaps his private hell, his abominable (abdominal?) resting place, will simply be the roiling bellies of Southern Oregonians. The infernal horror!

(Thanks to Dr. Amy for the referral and the photo.)