In our research, we often come across images that, repellent as they may be, do not conform to the definition of suicide food. These pictures represent not suicide food—with its sick and disturbed self-sacrificing lambs—but murder food. What is most often on display is utter contempt for the animals represented, a vile hatred that cannot be excused with the automatic "Can't you take a joke?"
And so here, to celebrate Suicide Food's having passed its 50th post, we bring you the Festival of Cruelty! "Enjoy" these sterling examples of man's naked inhumanity.
Kick-Ass BBQ: Evil tong-wielding gentleman kicks terrified pig into open flame after branding "Smoke Me" on its hindquarters. I think we can all agree that's funny.
Prairie Pork-Pullers Association Picnic: What needs to be said here? These good ol' boys are gonna teach Piggy a lesson. By the time they reach the picnic, that damn pig will wish he had never been born and, um, eaten corn, and... made those snuffling sounds. He didn't think he could actually get away with that, did he? Okay, wait. What the hell!
DrChuckies BBQ: It appears that "doctor" Chuckie is a graduate of the Mengele School of Medicine. Are we witnessing an act of "medical" torture? Revenge? Simple barbarity? More to the point: Who comes up with these logos? Cigar-smoking mafioso masquerading as a doctor, a giant syringe, and a chicken so scared his eyes are bursting... Sure, that'll move product. I say we run with it.
Harold's The Fried Chicken King: Get 'er, Harold! This chef is so full of murderous glee he is actually quivering. The poor chicken is acting on universal instinct here, just trying to stay one step ahead of the axe. But Harold won't quit. His compulsions won't let him. His own demons have transformed him into one himself. And these demons demand blood. They demand guts. They demand it all. So run, chicken. You won't get far.