Monday, November 23, 2009

Whole Hawg Happenin'

You know what's old and boring and doesn't make people want to eat meat? Fairy tales, that's what! Little Red Riding Hood. Yeah, right. Who can relate to that? Riding hoods went out somewhere around 1790.

The fairy tale is a form ripe for revitalizing!

For instance, what if—stay with us here—what if, instead of a riding hood, we went with a cutting-edge polka dot sundress and parasol?

You want to keep the basket? Sure, keep the basket. Good tie-in potential. Sell kid-size baskets. Gift baskets are an evergreen product.

Okay. Now. This is where it gets a little tricky. Switch out the girl for a pig. Give it a chance to settle. Give it a minute. See, you keep the wolf, and the pig is heading right for it! So you still got the violence going for you. Or, no. Wait. Brainstorm. The pig's happy about it! Yeah, the pig is going for it. It's violence, but the pig is in on it. You will own Soft Violence!

Put it together. Little pig is skipping through the forest, tra la la. She walks right into the wolf. Wolf does his thing. Predator, prey, bing bang boom. Now you are moving barbecue.

Addendum: Finally, for that little button. The kicker. Hack off the pig's tail—you know, those curly tails they got? Hack it off and use it for an apostrophe. Can you picture it?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I totally would have missed the tail apostrophe. Thanks for the careful attention! The getup reminds me of Nancy and Little Lulu, two ageless counterculture heroines.