Tuesday, November 17, 2009

First Hand Smoke

He comes from beyond the grave, a creature of vapor and dark pride, happily suffering the unwholesome light of the living, braving the poisonous, free air.

His plot has borne fruit! Or no, not fruit. Meat. His plot has borne meat. (One of the more horrid sentences we've committed in a long time.)

Beneath the inverted smile of the Arch, the pig had cast himself on the grill that he might be transformed. From the smokestack he rises, white-gloved, having made of himself a burnt offering, to bestow the gifts of his flesh.

It's downright holy! It's like every element of western religion crammed into a bastardized, new creed! And lo! The lion doberman will lie down with the lamb pig!

The ham! The ribs! Torn from a miraculously bloodless carcass, they drip with the potency of the once-alive, and the faithful dogs set upon them with gladness.

Addendum: The artist of this thing, whose work has been featured in these "pages" many times (most recently here), has a real flair for the unsavory. Could he be putting out even more influential stuff than the BBQ Logo King?


Anonymous said...

I think the additional element that dogs are eating this suicide food needs a little more attention here. Being a dog lover, I guess I should be glad these happy fellows should be getting ribs and ham, respectively. In terms of the spectral pig's cheery posthumous sacrifice, though, how do we interpret it?

Does this mean that in the spiritual hierarchy of these dogs' owners, dogs and humans are worthy of equal respect? That would be mind-bending. Or does it mean that this pig's devotion to suicidefoodism is so staunch that he will feed even the lesser of God's creatures with his substance? That would also be mind-blowing.

These are surely questions for theologians - they're beyond my simple ken.

PS Are you sad that you didn't call this post "Eat Me In St Louis"? Desdemona gets the credit for that one.

Ben said...

We assume the pig simply knows his place. His spiritual forebears include the creatures who gave their lives for these dog treats and this tripe in a can, all so Man's Bestest Friend could dine in "style."

Anonymous said...

I am further informed, and queasier.

Cavall de Quer said...

"Pork you love to Fork"............oh, give me a break!!!