Monday, November 9, 2009


Say the organizers of Carnivorale, an orgy of animal flesh and organs:

"As heath conscious eating has grown more popular, meat has taken a beating. But a group of local chefs plan to invite diners to a restaurant where they can indulge in their most carnivorous desires."

Such heartfelt pleas for understanding from that most powerless minority—the meat-eaters! They've been rendered all but invisible in our society, haven't they? And now, thanks to the efforts of those who won't be denied their chance to eat with all the dignity of Caligula, they can emerge from the shadows for one night only. This night, in fact. November 9, 2009. In St. Louis. Perhaps as you read this, they are casting off the chains of their lowly status, a status enforced by law as well as custom, in a long overdue "celebration for meateaters."

We commend them for their bravery (if not their good taste). No more, they cry! No more will they be silent! The world must know, even for only one night, that they are still here! If not for the millions of burger joints, chicken shacks, fish fries, grocery store meat counters, butcher shops, hot dog stands, ribberies, and the rest, the untold barbecue competitions and festivals, and the utter ubiquity of their habits, we could almost believe they no longer existed! But they do!

Yes, the meat-eaters make up only 96.8% of American adults, but they will hide no longer!

And so they proclaim their right to live like emperors of decadent Rome, feasting on the most arcane, the most cruel, the most unnecessary foods of all! Veal! Pork cheek napoleon! Deer liver! Pig bellies! Caramel made with duck fat!

But we're here to talk about suicide food, not menus, and Carnivorale does not disappoint. Unwilling to stop at the indulgence of their every perverse appetite, they trot out a fine example of suicidefoodist imagery: a porcine Josephine Baker clad in pork-chop brassiere and skirt trimmed in bones! She is a morbid goddess of sex and death! Her coming heralds a New Age of blood-soaked sacrifice and righteous wrath!

How soothing that the meat-eaters, so tentative, so precious, have embraced an icon of such power!

(Thanks to Dr. Josh for the referral.)


MattersMainelyRural said...

God, this meal was so good! 2 inches of marrow is pretty fatty. The only thing that would have made it better is if we could have like watched the cow's leg being cut off and cooked then we got the bone. Actually, maybe we could cook JUST the cow's leg so its still alive then cut it off. that way there's less delay from 'this was a live animal' to 'this is a piece of an animal i want to shove in my mouth'

MattersMainelyRural said...

let me be clear, I hate you and I love meat.

Ben said...

Loud and clear, chris.

Loud and clear.

Polly X said...

Canivorale - celebrating the rights of that powerless minority meat eaters, reminds me of that other powerless minority, the mens movement.