Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Grove's Tasteless Chill Tonic: a "what the hell?" digression

Pardon us. It appears our brain has fallen out.

This product—this chill tonic—could scarcely have received a more suitable designation. Tasteless. And how!

Lay down your four bits (that's 50¢ in old-timey talk), grab a bottle for yourself, and see!

Drink it down and watch as you become… as fat… as a pig! (?) And as you metamorphose into an actual pig with a lace collar and receding hairline. (??) And acquire the affect of an elderly gentleman caught in mid-regression to his infancy. (???)

And just what does this, you know, mean, sociologically-speaking? That fat pigs are such symbols of happiness that we yearn to emulate them? That "food" animals are associated with rosy good health?

Who knows.

(Thanks to Dr. Benjamin for the referral.)

Addendum: Feel free to investigate the other posts in our "award-winning" (that is, non-award winning) series of "what the hell?" digressions: Dead Busty Turkey, Samsung Safari, and Cluck-n-Stuff.

7 comments:

Desdemona said...

Okay, this is actually MORE screwed up than the giant pig giving a, well, piggyback to the gnome for no apparent reason. I mean, seriously. What. The. HELL?

Cynthia Haug-West said...

Oh my heavens, this picture is the stuff of the kind of nightmares I get when I eat too much spicy food. The look on the pig-person's face is just Freaking Me OUT.

Bobbi said...

Oh dear. Not only did my brain just fall out, but I accidentally trampled on it with my piggy hooves. Thanks for keepin' it (sur)real, Ben!

hawkgirl said...

If the company's claim is true, then the most disturbing thing is that folks forked over their four-bits 1.5 million times in just a year...

Doug said...

My Brother and I never knew why Mom made us take this crap but there was no arguing, just take it!! Well, one day we buried the bottle,..what the Hell were we thinking!! She made us dig it up and double dosed us!! I remember small layer of seeds floating on top. does anyone know what those seeds were? Starting to gag thinking about it!!

Roger L. said...

Tasteless, Hell!!! My mother made me swallow this liquid torture. Suspended in it were grains that looked like, and probably were, Epsom salt. It tasted like a blender full of ditch weeds, griped kid's guts, and made their rear ends sound like outboard motors. Grove Park Inn was built on the torture of little children. Would the FDA allow such an absurdity to be marketed today?

Bryan Mett said...

Lol you realise the active ingredients in this product are actually effective in combating chills and aches. It was used to treat malaria for years. This stuff made those medicines more palatable. It was worse without the tonic as you just ate the alkaloid salts straight up