Thursday, October 8, 2009

Pigs and Cars, a retrospective

Oh, those motoring, pleasure-seeking pigs!

Let us pause to consider the newly documented complex known as DPS (Driving Pig Syndrome).

Capable of operating a motor vehicle, of obtaining their own freedom by means of the internal combustion engine, still they remain tethered to the industry that enslaves them. They appreciate their fine retro and/or muscle cars more than life itself.

Indeed, they are fully equipped for self-actualization, with their guitars and sunglasses! They are ready to rock, to roll, to hit the stroll! They could blow this jerkwater berg in two seconds flat… if only they had a life force that continued to function.

These two (or, um, this one?) do themselves up with leather jackets and shades and assume as much attitude as a suicidal "food" animal can muster.

Their rides are mere ornaments, outward signs of their inner emptiness. As long as they can glide up to the barbecue in a sweet machine, there to surrender themselves to the eternal freedom of nothingness, they're happy.

We can summarize the personality disorder at the heart of DPS by misquoting Robert Browning: A pig should put the pedal to the metal and race toward death, or what's a heaven for?

Addendum (10/24/09): Another pig behind the wheel and his (human!) companion, who holds aloft the ribs she has torn from his chest. Keep your eyes on the road now.

Addendum 2 (4/25/10): It's spare, but it bespeaks class.

Addendum 3 (10/02/10): Is there any music dearer to suicidefoodists than wheels and squeals harmonizing in a crescendo of awfulness? Hey, this one's a lot like the Cadillac Ranch Bar-B-Q guy!


John V. said...

One does have to wonder if the cows their leather jackets are made of were suicidal as well (suicide clothing?), and thrilled at the thought that their deaths would actually help a fellow creature on the "race toward death".

(P.S. if you're interested, check out the suicidefood content in my latest blog post! And if you're not interested... don't.)

denparser said...

pleasure seeking-pig? wew.. it's not so familiar with me.