Saturday, February 16, 2008

Suicidefood Web Searches: a digression

For the last several months, we have taken note of the search terms people have employed to wind up at our site. Based on what they were intending to find, the searches of these accidental visitors can be placed into three categories:

1. Very Well, Then.
2. Wha?! and
3. We Don't Want To Know!

We begin with the least objectionable:

Very Well, Then.

  • harold's chicken food poisoning
  • how to butcher a cow
  • is suicide that bad
  • my leaf lard tastes too meaty
  • Burgerkind
  • what are Zaxby's chicken fingers?
  • Porky Pig's worst role
  • You'll make me suicidal, suicidal
  • cow song I am cow hear me moo
  • sporty chops
  • +"Paul Prudhomme" +"dead animal" +poor
  • foods God okay eat
  • Multi-Purpose Floor Display food
  • nice lovely girl
  • dead deer pics 2007


  • suicide cutting wrists
  • microwave suicide
  • i cow white sexy female
  • suicide knife to the head
  • suicide in animals
  • suicide valley
  • suicide master
  • muscle pig in overalls
  • 22 birdshot in food
  • nooses around kids
  • turducken pig
  • beer butt ostrich
  • rasta cat
  • hotdog of men
  • suicide with pricking
  • rabbit suicide
  • garbage eaters cult
  • suicide with a knife
  • suicide tickles
  • octopus livestock

    We Don't Want To Know!

  • sex com animales
  • sexy pig cartoon
  • sexy food animals
  • how to make suicide look like an accident
  • sexy rack
  • dancing with nooses
  • farm animals and sexy
  • toe food choclate (sic)

    Bear in mind that this represents only the tiniest fraction of what we've seen. Many search requests were for specific restaurants that we have featured. These were too dull to bother with. But the rest paint a grim picture of the state of modern society. On the positive side, we like to think that finding us—instead of whatever depraved thing was hoped for—made things just a little brighter for someone. If only for a few moments or page views, whichever came first.

    Anonymous said...

    'rabbit suicide' isn't that weird:

    Another Ben said...

    Yeah, I have a Bunny Suicides poster in my bedroom.

    Although I'd like to see an explanation for the sexy pig cartoon...

    Canaduck said...

    Farm animals and sexy! Ew, not only is he into bestiality, he can't figure out how to type a URL.

    Isa said...

    Ooh, well, I feel like I have to fess up about "farm animals and sexy"