Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Sir Loin and the Omaha Beef

What happens when a suicidal animal with a theatrical streak finds himself jobless and locked out of the storied Nebraska stockyards? He sews himself a costume and puts on a show!

Calling himself Sir Loin (groan), our star steer fires up the crowds at home games of the Omaha Beef (groan) indoor football franchise.

With his showmanship, he manages to turn the sport into one big party! It's a celebration of himself as a succulent, edible god!

The form-fitting outfit! The almost simian leer! Sir Loin (groan) is a role model for depraved "food" animals everywhere. Nothing can get in his way. Not his shockingly low self-esteem, not his status as a third-class citizen, nothing.

(Could the composition of this shot possibly be coincidental? The sculpted physique—more than a thousand beefy pounds of American meat on the hoof—marching before the Burger King sun!)

As an aside, this is the most extreme example of Ironic Aggressor Sublimation we have ever seen. (Please! No more!) Compare "Omaha Beef" with a superficially similar professional sports outfit, the Chicago Bulls. Yes, in both, a bull or steer is the mascot, but while the Beef emphasize their victim status (indeed, their very food-ness), the Bulls' name stands for power and virility.

Even within the Beef's league—and its Billings Outlaws, its River City Rage, and its Wichita Wild—the Beef stand alone as passive patsies.

And it's not just the team and their shameless Sir Loin (groan). No, it's the Omaha Prime (groan) dancers, the Rump Roasters (groan) and Meatheads (groan) fan groups, the Meat Wagon (groan) bus trips, and the Meat Wrapper (groan) newsletter. The entire enterprise is a fantasy of suicidefoodism!

(Image source.)

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