Friday, July 23, 2010

Bacon Flavored Instant Baby Formula: a hoax

It has taken us more than two years, but we have finally managed to turn up another suicidefoodist hoax.

It is a true testament to the insanity of genuine suicide food that hoaxes are so rare. When the real thing sends rational minds careening into the abyss, what need is there of exaggeration? And how many pranksters would willingly take on such a challenge, to outdo the established suicidefoodist academies?

In this example of so-horrible-you'd-assume-it's-real nonsense, the hoaxers describe an experiment to perfect a bacon baby formula.
"[W]e consulted with pediatricians and began to experiment with drying and grinding bacon into a fine powder, then applying a patent-pending process to concentrate this powder into the most essential nutrients and ingredients for brain development. This potential infant superfood was then added to a test subject’s infant formula.

The results were absolutely impressive. By the age of 4 months, our test subject started to exhibit some amazing abilities including walking and talking. By 6 months of age, she could read and memorize her early stage children's books and showed an extreme level of coordination and balance...."
And, of course, because, lark or not, suicidefoodism demands the recruitment of animals into positions of abject powerlessness, the label of the (fictitious) product bears the image of a diapered piglet. He watches us benignly, unafraid to become a dried and ground bacon supplement.

(Thanks to Dr. Lou for the referral.)

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