Thursday, February 11, 2010

The Turkey Speaks

Would that we could all be as selfless, as honorable as our patrioturkey here. Of course, the animals do come pre-programmed with a desire to sacrifice themselves, as our thousands of examples have amply and disgustingly demonstrated.

That they are familiar with Nathan Hale does come as a surprise. (We knew the animals were keen on the whole dying-for-any-old-cause concept, but we didn't know they were history buffs, as well.) Although, now that we think about it, we're kind of wondering whether Nathan Hale didn't steal his famous line from a turkey.

Who better epitomizes the hunger for death's noble feast than a bird? Billions of them line up to die every year in the U.S., their necks craned helpfully toward the blades.

What better myth for the suicidefoodist canon than the proud, death-wishing old bird, Benjamin Franklin's choice for our nation's dearest symbol? The turkey has been with us from the beginning, ever seeking his own end.


hawkgirl said...

Poor turkey is harassed even in death and forced from beyond the grave to speak words of encouragement to eat him. I'm only surprised he isn't saluting like a Marine.

Dr. McAwesome said...

Your writings and perspectives are pure genius.