Giant, man-sized Easter Bunny. Blue horse. Ranks of hamfantry marching over the hills.
Either we are suffering from an especially nasty fever or the suicidefoodists have upped their game.
Remembering that no one has ever lost money underestimating the suicidefoodist's ability to baffle and appall (to paraphrase H. L. Mencken), we believe the fever theory has little merit. Which means the Movement has unleashed its most hallucinatory tableau in a long time.
Whom do they fight, these military meats? And what of this knife-and-fork nation, beneath whose flag they make the noblest sacrifice? And, while we're asking questions, what the hell?
On the surface, it's all pretty straightforward: The hams are going to war and the Easter Bunny is warning us, Paul Revere-style. Yes, naturally, but, no, the hams aren't going to war—they're coming to surrender. They are unarmed. This army was trained only to lose, and they demand no adherence to the Geneva Conventions. They ask only that they be put on sale at some Trader Joe's somewhere, bought, and eaten.
The only medals awarded in this conflict are numerous Purple Heartburns.
(Thanks to Dr. Mary for the referral and photo.)
Addendum: We can't help but be reminded of these parachuting lobsters.