Still in the dark? (Oh, to be ignorant once more of turducken's harsh reality!) Turducken is man's unkindest idea: a chicken crammed inside a duck crammed inside a turkey.
Turduckenking.com says about it: "It's not just a meal, it's a conversation piece." (Apparently, its value as actual food is in dispute. So they suggest you buy it to fill awkward lulls in the conversation.) A better tagline would be "Turducken: It's not just a meal, it's a whole slaughterhouse on a plate!" Or how about just "Turducken: Fuck you." (Feel free to offer your own taglines in the comments section.)
What elevates this above the plane of the Ordinary Horrendous is the participation on the site's homepage of the turkey and chicken. No matter how ugly the food, the animals can be made to serve as apologists and touts for it.
"Get yours today!" intones the turkey. "It doesn't taste like chicken," the chicken meekly cheeps, as though to absolve herself from her share of the blame for taking part. Her blank gaze and unnatural posture betray a tortured inner state. One wonders, furthermore, whether not tasting like chicken is meant to be a selling point. Turducken: it doesn't taste like chicken! So... even turducken consumers—assuming there are any—don't want to eat chicken, either? Surely they could find something—anything—else to eat.
The duck, in his best Night of the Living Dead voice, warns "Vegetarians beware!" Yeah, you too, duck.
Addendum: Did we say "ugly"? Indeed we did. Behold turducken in all its
(Photo not taken from Turducken King's website. For whatever that's worth.)