Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Sainsbury's Meat Face

In Edinburgh it's Billy Clown. In Ireland it's Billy Roll. And in staid old North London, it would seem, it's "pork luncheon meat." Whatever you call it—we prefer Cannibalard™—it's thoroughly galling, appalling, and altogether mind-mauling.

What we see here is the latest innovation in offensive food, a product that, all by itself, with no fanciful advertising, denies its own truth. This, of course, is the nature of suicidefoodism: obscuring uncomfortable facts beneath a sick layer of misdirection. "Who are you gonna believe?" suicide food asks. "Me, or your lyin' eyes?"

But where typical suicide food acknowledges the basic proposition of its origin before renouncing it—This was once a living creature, which wanted to die—Sainsbury's meat face erases even its own origin. "This was never alive. This was never an animal. This is merely a decorative, food-like substance." (Never an animal, never alive, and yet! That smile! Always, the smile makes a mockery of our misgivings!)

Are we witnessing the future of suicide food? Will all meat products one day be created with similar artifice?

(Thanks to Dr. Tombland for permission to use his photo.)








The Cannibalard™ logo, by Lisa:

11 comments:

Alan said...

This clownification of luncheon meat is truly disturbing. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.

Anonymous said...

A clown? Bah, what a mockery! Clearly the cold cut should be portraying a smiling pig - unless the mysterious luncheon meat is not "pork" at all. Alas, poor Billy.

- Sausage Boy, Ottawa, Canada

Francois Tremblay said...

Wow. For the first time, I have to admit that you guys found something really, really disturbing. Does anyone really want to see a misshapen clown face coming out of their luncheon meat?

Anonymous said...

Haha, thanks for agreeing for once, Francois. That thing is so creepy. Hell, I wouldn't even want to see it in some sort of vegan version of the same.

Anonymous said...

Don't know if I feel more sick, or more ashamed (I'm British..........)
Rita

Anonymous said...

Waiting for a reply from Sainsbury's.............
Rita

Anonymous said...

.........and one received, very unsatisfactory - a "duty" to sell "what the customer wants" (how would anyone form a desire for the Meat Face?)etc.
Now waiting again...........
Rita

Anonymous said...

I ate 'meat faces' many times as a child wouldn't now though.

I think Sainsbury's response to Rita's email is a bit predictable, their customers do have a choice to buy this or not. Have you heard anything else from them?

Anonymous said...

It tastes funny.

Anonymous said...

Imagine eating it if you were high!

Portfolio Rescources said...

You can get billy roll in badge form from Tshock: http://tshock.net/product/badges

Also Check out this other versions:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myOdRdelvSM