We've seen it before, the "food" animal troubled more by being seen naked than by his impending death.
Still, we're confused when we come face-to-face with such disordered thinking. "This is what you're worried about?" we want to scream. The turkey's flushed cheeks, ripe with embarrassment, sum up everything that's wrong with suicide food. Clutching the barrel that masks his nudity, he spares not a thought to what is about to happen to him.
And maybe the blushing is a statement of a more generalized humility. All that "as served at the White House" business. It's like any fuss made on his behalf (while he's living) is just too much. It goes right to his head and he protests meekly. (No surprise there. Everything the bird does is meek.)
Either way, this is some poultry with messed-up priorities.
1. Get some dang clothes.
2. Let the fellas know that my family and me are nothing special.
4. Get those bills taken care of.
5. Oil change.
6. Clean out the mud room.
7. Return the netflix.
8. Fix the toilet.
9. Call Gramma.
10. Avoid getting killed.
(Thanks to Dr. Trent for the referral.)