Zum Spanferkel

To the suckling pig! No, that's not a call to arms; it's the translation of this sign. We find this pig troubling for more than the usual reasons. (Namely, that he is a party to his own death and consumption.) A suckling pig, you will recall, is a whole young pig suitable for roasting. Does this winking pervert look like a youngster? Do we see the suggestion of five o'clock shadow on his monstrously chubby cheeks?

In other words, is he selling out himself or his children? If the former, well, we've already met an entire world of similar degenerates. If the latter, he belongs to an exclusive club of those who would destroy their progeny. (There was this striking example, and this one too.)

And either way, you just know this pig will succumb, lured by the temptation of spending eternity (or, you know, a few reeking hours) lodged in someone's digestive tract.

Zum Spanferkel has more to offer besides a conflicted pig! They also have this:

"Have you had pig today?" the banner asks.

Yes, we know. But those trunked and droopy weirdos are meant to be pigs.

Trust us on this. We're experts.