Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Bacon Freak Bacon Club

The (oh, please let it be!) ironic adoration of bacon has never been taken to such an extreme.

The baconcult has always been tedious, ranking up there with the winking obsession for retro bowling attire and bad television. But Bacon Freak turns it into something altogether depressing.

For instance, this pig wearing a shirt that bears the likeness of a pig and extols the dubious virtues of bacon.

For bacon is so magical that even pigs love it. Yes, even amateur rebels appreciate having permission! And fear not—the pigs approve!

So indulge your every appetite! Satisfy your every craving! No one's stopping you! The pigs have given you the keys to their greasy city.

And lest you fear that it's only bacon—that the pigs would bogart the other by-products of their blessedly brief lives—be advised that the pigs want you to enjoy the entirety of their abundance. Ribs! Ham jerky! It's all up for grabs.

The pigs are here to serve. Boy! Are they ever!

Addendum: We can't help but be "impressed" with the presentation of this product. Nauseatingly called "piglets," these bacon pieces are shown in a serving dish shaped like a pig's head. Finally! Man is free to safely give in to his desire to eat the brains of a piglet with his fingers!

Addendum 2 (4/18/09): We were recently discovered by the Coastal Vineyard wine blog, which, in some way we don't understand, is affiliated with the Bacon Freak bacon club. They took issue—but gently—with our post. While we enjoy the attention, and any addition to our readership is welcome, we think they missed the boat. They believe pointing out that actual pigs will eat bacon if it's put in front of them somehow invalidates our thesis. Namely, 1) that real pigs have an interest in not being killed and eaten, and 2) that real pigs wouldn't willingly endorse pork products. (We feel foolish even pointing this out, as though it weren't already shamefully obvious.) The Coastal Vineyard/bacon people also believe that because animals eat animals—a fact with which we were vaguely aware—those animals wouldn't mind so much being eaten by us.

1 comment:

The Vegas Vegan said...

Oh how I've missed you!!

No one finds humor in cannibalism quite like you do!