Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Demon Pig BBQ Team

A shot across the bow from the forces of suicidefoodism. The message couldn't be simpler. Or more chilling.

We are on notice. The Movement's reach has extended across the natural world and has entered, by means we do not care to know, the realm of the supernatural.

This is a warning. We are on the verge of a New Age. An era when all animals—the actual and the figmentary, those made from flesh and those brought into being through the blending of elemental forces—will demand their turn on the spit.

Even demons, in whom greed and violence well up like magma, even demons want to die for us. The door has been opened. What had been held at bay, what had been relegated to nightmare and dark imagining, is now in our very midst. And do not forget! Do not forget what power broke the seal, what power can control the beasts of Hell. It is the power of suicidefoodism.

Still we battle.


Anonymous said...

What does this mean? I am confused.

Anonymous said...

This is not a "pig" promoting eating pork. How does it qualify as a suicide food. It is for a bbq sauce. Merely a condiment. Are you going to list "Pepper" since it is used on steak? How about "Tartar Sauce"? It is used on fish.

You are going against your own definition.

Speak up and explain.

Ben said...

Really? Really, people?

Anonymous said...

It's not for BBQ sauce. It's for a BBQ team. Can you not read?

Anonymous said...

Animal lovers never were known for their intelligence. After all, what do they propose we do with all the animals if we stop eating them to control their populations.
Not one of them will adopt a herd of cattle and pay to feed it, and then bury them when they die.
It clearly says BBQ TEAM.

Anonymous said...

Yes, and veggies would starve, because all the uncontrolled animals would the all the sources of food, and the veggies would not stop them. I have seen veggies put a mean spanking on their kids, yet get all upset if someone rides a horse.
By the way, what do you propose to control the animal population if we stop eating them? Just let them starve?

Ben said...

When Operation: Skeleton Key takes effect, and all the animals are released from their pens—the world's guns having been confiscated, destroyed, and turned into zero-emission personal scooters—contingency plan 5 will receive automatic authorization if the rampaging livestock become unruly.

Until that happens, however, you are silly.

Anonymous said...

Yes, and Suicidefood is also silly. Thanks for the entainment.