Saturday, December 29, 2007

Suicide Clothing: a digression

Today's suicidal animal has so many choices! He need not bequeath his body to the butcher or the grocer. No, he is limited only by the sick power of his warped imagination.

Of course, as we know from our studies of suicidefoodiana, medication or other treatment (even on an outpatient basis!) is rarely recommended. No, the "best" thing to do, it would seem, is to give the poor beasts a final, friendly handshake and shove them on their way to eternity. Which can take the form of spits, cauldrons, bullets, hooks, harpoons, and the swords of the torero.

Or even the gentle ministrations of the professional tanner? Well, why not indeed? It certainly doesn't make any less sense, now, does it? And this explains our present subjects. Seen here in an image appearing on a website devoted to the proper care of leather goods, these three chums—may we infer their bond from the fact that they are bathing together?—have willed their bodies to the practitioners of the sartorial arts. Maybe not their entire bodies, but at least their outsides. (Of course, the lamb doesn't really have his little heart in. That wool will grow back. He is our first suicidefoodist poseur!)

Like all good Accomplice Animals, this trio feels compelled to go the extra mile. Hence, the old Suds 'n' Scrubs. We wouldn't want to force the tanner to stoop to cleaning the hides himself, would we? Think of this as a purification ritual, their final act before committing their flesh to posterity.

For your "pleasure," some more pictures of happy skinwear extolling the virtues of cleanliness:

Addendum (3/08/08): And here's an animal who—what's her deal?—isn't happy with the arrangement.

Addendum 2 (3/01/10): This cow is so excited to take part that she's made herself into a hood roof ornament for Jamin' (sic) Leather! (Thanks to Dr. Slodki for the referral.)

Addendum 3 (8/17/10): This cow and her ass are happy to be here, in the world of cows (and their asses) being transformed into clothing. (Thanks to Dr. Chris for the referral and the photo.)

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