Did you think ostriches were only sex objects? That's a common misconception. No, they're also corral-based bon vivants and rugged cowboys.
And, as we now know, ostriches are superb athletes!
Like the Brazlian people, Brazilian ostriches enjoy futebol. And, like the Brazilian people, Brazilian ostriches are deliciously healthy.
It's curious, yet commonplace, this identification with one's main dish. As though the way to induce consumers to choose this or that dead-animal product, you must first get them to see themselves in the lifeless eyes of the food on the plate. "This ostrich felt a patriotic pride toward my country. He enjoyed the same pastimes that give me pleasure. We're not so very different, he and I. Now that our connection has been made plain, an undeniable bond, I will experiment and devour him."
Or, we… guess that's how it goes?
And through it all, for his part, the ostrich never stops selling. The intensity, the rah-rah boosterism, the countless hours devoted to training—it's all part of his plan to pitch his kind as the perfect meat for a hungry Brazil.
(Thanks to Dr. Clea for the referral.)