Sunday, September 5, 2010

Revolution Barbecue

As you might expect of animals taking part in the suicidefoodist revolution, this bunch is a bit confused.

For one thing, they seem not to understand what a revolution is. Are we wrong that they appear intent on installing—and not dismantling—a monarchy? The pig's got a crown on and they stride beneath a banner proclaiming the birth of an empire.

Let's take a moment to consider this "revolution" they are fomenting. It clearly doesn't involve upraising the downtrodden or enfranchising the voiceless. Or breaking chains, walls, or despotic regimes. Or taking on the ruling class, the slavers, and connivers. Or granting rights and expanding possibilities. Or erasing the page of the past's lies and beginning a new chapter in history's noblest tome.

No. It's about putting the animals under the boot heel of the elites. (Power? To the pig?!) The grand march toward destruction! Surrender! Subjugation! The battle hymn of this revolution is a funeral dirge.

This is the Year Zero. To the fires! In you go!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

PETA! PEOPLE EATING TASTY ANIMALS!

Ben said...

We surrender.

Julian E said...

To be fair, revolutions have rarely been about the masses establishing an egalitarian society and dismantling oppressive hierarchies. Fighting about whether a Theban noble house or a Herakleopolitan noble house will supply the next Pharaoh of Egypt, or whether a king can decree laws regulating the priesthood or whether only the church has that authority, seem more typical over history. Revolutionaries crowning a new emperor is hardly inconsistent with revolution in general, even if it's inconsistent with ideals that have animated some revolutions.

Whether revolutionaries are egalitarians or merely seek a change in the arrangement of hierarchal modes of domination, though, I've never heard of a revolution in which the victors place themselves into subjection. That is Emperor Pig I's great innovation.