Monday, January 4, 2010

Hershey's Instant: a dairy digression

Lunacy from decades past.

In this commercial, preserved for all time by a world in love with its trash, cows break their figurative chains and flee their confinement. What would cause such normally docile creatures to behave so, so… rambunctiously? Only the least reasonable thing ever, that's all!

They're not escaping—they're on strike!

Their principal grievance? Children have refused to drink the milk intended for the cows' vanished babies!

Experience the stirring (and insane) spectacle yourself:
The cows are up in arms!
They've left their fields and barns!
They're marching from the farms because...
Kids don't drink enough milk!

Hershey's Instant®
makes milk taste like a Hershey® bar.

The kids are happy,
They're drinking their milk—
The cows are going back home!
As soon as the cows see that the children are back on board, they happily return to their desperate lives of servitude.

No free spirits, these cows. For them, it's all toeing the line, doing what you're told, and Taking it from The Man! Well, you know. It's was the 60s.

(Thanks to Dr. Mrs. Suicidefood for the referral.)


mentalie said...

oooh! goodness! maybe the cows'll bomb the vegans next...!

Anonymous said...

I'm new to your blog, but I've always wondered about this phenomenon. I assume at one point you've dealt with Charlie, the Tuna Who Tired of Life.

Ben said...

Hello, Anonymous.

Wonder about Charlie no longer:

dvestv said...

@ mentalie

haha, I think so.

John V. said...

The second most bizarre thing about this idea is that the cows would actually get the chance to go on strike...

HeyAri said...

Dear Dr. Ben,

Please explain the child(?) on the package.


Dr. Ari

Ben said...

Sorry — that's outside our mandate.

Becci said...

Good grief, what a CREEPY commercial!