Rock-n-Roll Fingers

If only this were the cover of the Fresh Chicken Fingers LP from pioneering rockabilly frontman Rock-n-Roll Fingers.

Of course, if it were, we'd have to acknowledge that the shades-sporting, leather-jacketed Fingers here is hardly a fighter against the establishment. No rock and roll rebel, he. With hits like, "Fish Gotta Swim, Birds Gotta Die," and "You Make Me Sizzle," he sings a love song to the status quo. No, he's got the rock and roll lifestyle all backward. Instead of flagging down groupies, he's leaping in bed with The Man.

Alas, we must put an end to our rock and roll fantasy. This image is just another damned dumb suicidefoodist logo. Somehow, seeing this Rooster Bitch strut across the stage in all his inauthentic glory is supposed to make us want to eat chicken fingers.

As the Rolling Stones might have/should have put it:

"I know! It's only a dilute sham of rock and roll!"

We don't like it, like it, no, we don't.