The Great American Barbecue Roadshow

We got ourselves a convoy! It's a parade of proud, soon-to-be-eaten citizens! All your favorites have come from far and wide to converge upon Westminster, Maryland:

The methane-spewing environmentally conscious cow pedaling in the lead; the "Look, Ma! No hands!" chicken endangering pedestrians left and right in her chartreuse convertible; the skateboarding lamb, representing the younger set (naturally); and, of course, the "man" of the hour, that glad-handing flag waver, the pig, wallowing in barbecue sauce up to his crotch.

In an admirable show of good ol' American gumption and civic pride, these creatures have hit the road. If you won't come to them—to help yourself to a leg here, a breast there, and then a trip over to the rib table—they'll come to you! (I'd like to see French livestock do that.)

It's like the ice cream truck for the blood-thirsty masses!