Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Special Report: Barbecue Battling 2

Continuing a grand tradition of spectacle and misdirected anger, the barbecue battlers battle on. We first became aware of the phenomenon—barbecue battling proper—about two and a half years ago, and we have made a point of checking in periodically ever since. The last time we wrote about it was less than six months ago.

Yes, they've still got scores to settle, these myopic "food" animals. They don't challenge the system that declares them fit only for consumption. Like corrupt regimes the world over, the Barbecue-Industrial Complex pits them against one another, and they take the bait. Seeing in their fellows the cause for their own lowly position, they battle. They wrestle! They brawl! Always against a shadow.

What power they could harness! If they could but see their true enemy, how they could change the world! The empires they could topple!

But no. They make enemies of their brothers. And during the skirmishes of this endless civil war, the barbecuers scoot ringside to take in the circus.

The barbecue battle map we have updated since July, 2008, is now hopelessly parochial, the movement having spread to cover the nation, the continent—a land drowned in feeble rage.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Huh ????