Thursday, June 4, 2009

All Hogs Go To Heaven

It's been a long while since we've seen a creature so happy to have undergone its slaughterapture. (Could this lobster really have been the last one who came close?)

Such serenity! Just look at him! A shy smile plays over his snout as he wafts heavenward, eyes shut dreamily. Buoyed by faith, he soars through the velvet firmament!

And what price peace? He paid the paltry sum of his life. A bargain for any ambitious pig!

But our favorite part of this thing is the responsibility-disavowing phrasing. All hogs go to heaven. You know. It just happens. We turn around and—poof!—there goes another one! Reminiscent of bureaucratese, with its reliance on the passive voice, this reeks of buck-passing. The wordier, but more accurate version: We bring about the death of all hogs, thereby sending them to heaven.

Yes, you lose the nod to Don Bluth's beloved animated feature, but what's that worth when integrity is at stake?

1 comment:

John V. said...

Of course, hog heaven isn't the same place as human heaven, which is just something they made up to stop us going crazy.