Friday, December 24, 2010

Rudolph's Reindeer Meat

Rudolph—the decent, selfless reindeer beloved by millions of boys and girls—has an important message:

"When you order reindeer, you make Santa smile."

Yes, Santa (Santa Claus, that is) would appreciate it if you'd order reindeer meat. He likes ordering reindeer. Get it? Ordering reindeer? Like, ordering them around? What a country!

And because Rudolph's such a doormat generous soul, this really is the most important thing he can think to share with you. Not "For the love of God, would someone please rescue me from what has become a nightmare of captivity and the ever-present stench of fear!" but instead "Don't forget to pick up some dead reindeer on your way home!"

Merry Christmas!

(Photo by Travis S.)







Addendum: Allow yourself to be haunted by this ghost of Christmas past. And this one, too, while you're at it.

3 comments:

stantoro said...

It makes good economic sense. In order to have eight sleigh-pulling quality reindeer at all times, Santa would have to breed them right, which involves some substandard animals. They can't make toys, so bratwurst it is!

Peggy said...

Ha... you have to admit, they do have some witty marketing.

Desdemona said...

It's like I'm always saying: Santa is a dick. Watch any Christmas special, and a portrait emerges of a deeply disturbed, twisted man.