His sack bulging with beef, his magical animal-cooker pulled through the Christmas Eve skies by flying livestock, the crummiest-ever Santa Claus prepares to leave children teetering between befuddlement and disgust.
The New Rudolph's nose lights up the night, the enchanted chickens flap their superfluous wings, and the patron saint of dripping, bloody giftwrap prepares to heave chunks of his former family down the world's chimneys.
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What is Suicide Food? Suicide Food is any depiction of animals that act as though they wish to be consumed. Suicide Food actively participates in or celebrates its own demise. Suicide Food identifies with the oppressor. Suicide Food is a bellwether of our decadent society. Suicide Food says, “Hey! Come on! Eating meat is without any ethical ramifications! See, Mr. Greenjeans? The animals aren’t complaining! So what's your problem?” Suicide Food is not funny.
1 noose = Mildly troubling 2 nooses = Appalling 3 nooses = Perverse 4 nooses = Deeply disturbed and disturbing 5 nooses = Ye gods! I must go wash out my eyeballs!