Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Oh, and turkeys? You birds are about to have the rockin'est day of your lives!
And you thought your best times were behind you! Seems foolish now, doesn't it, the way you clung to the tatters of your youth? The guitar pose that seems natural on a bird half your age only serves to make you look older than you are.
But now—how funny, how sweet, how dear life can be—you've been handed a second chance. You can matter in a whole new way. Not by rocking out, no, nor by chasing the empty promise of fame. But by being eulogized by schoolchildren and then eaten.
Can you see what one lucky colorer can win? A kid-friendly turkey lunch for his or her whole class! A visit from [illegible] the turkey to delight the entire school!
Addendum: Junable James? Is that the Turkey of Honor's name? It's so hard to make out. Turntable Terror? Supply your guesses in the comments.
Addendum 2: And what is it with the aging rockers peddling their own meat? Anything to stay relevant, we suppose.