What We've Been Missing 3: a digression

Every now and then (most recently, here) we feel driven to wallow in the consequences of our poor decisions. We have arrived at another such opportunity for reflection. Yes, the time has come again for us to wonder "what if?" What if we had not turned from the culinary path that stretched before us like a red (and moist) carpet? What wondrous fare we could have sampled!

Here follow more examples of "irresistible" food prepared by actual professional food-preparers.


We're just going to say it. We're half-convinced this is actually a bowl of used condoms. (The perpetrators claim it is steamed ribs.)








It looks prechewed, predigested, and thoroughly prevolting.











This dish represents the best of both worlds: livid, raw flesh married to an ancient, leathery rind of meat.









Picture it: The year is 3009. Humanity has inherited a bizarre and frightening Earth. Insects the size of poodles swarm the ashy skies. When they hit the windscreens of whizzing hover-sedans, this is the result. Lunch!