Porky's Last Stand

Boy, they don't make last stands they way they used to. Time was, a last stand meant an all-out sort of affair involving firearms, hunkering down behind battlements, and the grim calculus of death. Well, those days are long gone.

Nowadays a last stand is a cheery event for the whole family. You get dolled up, bake a pie, and pose for the picture-taking man.

What are they last-standing about, anyway? Are they afraid they'll be left out? That they'll never fulfill their dream of being ground up into "specialty" sausages?

That would certainly explain their enthusiasm. They might not be the soldiers you want with you when the enemy's infantry is closing in, but if you're fixing to get sausaged, you know who to call.

And who can blame them, really? It's like there's an entire neighborhood of pigs in every bite of this stuff! Truly a cause worth fighting for.