Prance proudly, young one!
Your growth profile is admirable! Your adherence to breed standards would make a show poodle hang her head!
When the Wilberforce (Ontario) Agricultural Society convenes, and the hopefuls take their places, it is you who emerges on top. The blue ribbon hangs around your neck. Or is pinned into your flesh. Or is stuck on with a wad of gum. (Who can say?)
But whatever. You are a winner!
And though you are butchered, no one can take that away from you.