Monday, May 25, 2009

White Castle's Flashdance

Once again, America's meat-merchants dredge the swamp of humanity's darkest desires and create something unforgettable.

Believe us: we tried to unsee this. But it will not go away.

To sell pork sandwiches, the freethinkers at White Castle have turned to that oldest of ideas: Man's sexual hunger for pigs. And that led them, in turn, to that not-quite-oldest of quasi-striptease movies, 1983's Flashdance.

Misogyny, animal-hatred, and mental illness combine to glorious libido-killing, appetite-deadening effect.

Whereas Jennifer Beals pulled the chain and sexy water drenched her sexily, the pig pulls the chain and sticky barbecue sauce spatters all over the place awfully. In what any rational person would regard as thoroughly, practically mathematically, medically unsexy, the pig is trying to appeal to our passions by strutting into the flames. It's suicide as flirtation.

(Thanks to Dr. Amber for the referral.)


Frogulous said...

"Shredded pork in a come-hither barbeque sauce".

The mind boggles.

I mean, pigs ARE kinda cute, but still...

Desdemona said...

Yeah, our heads pretty much exploded the first time we saw that. It was like, "Did I just hallucinate that? Because I could, no, impossible. But I could have SWORN..."

Anonymous said...

Wow. Just when you think couldn't possibly get any worse--it does! What kind of demented minds come up with these concepts?

Amber said...

Glad this one got 5 nooses... definitely deserved it. Gross!

Kelley said...

I couldn't agree more.