Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Unidentified Restaurant in Rockhampton, Queensland, Australia

Starting close to a year ago, we amused ourselves by pointing out the ugliest suicide food logos we could find. (We started here, then topped ourselves with this example, and then this one, and finally this one, not two months ago.) Our sport is at an end.

For we have found something that is not merely the ugliest yet. No, it is the ugliest possible.

Yes, Edi-Bull is a bull the color of chicken skin. Yes, his lips—and his nostrils—are heavily made up. Yes, he is pulling a steak from the side of his head. Yes, his poignant scrotum is the size of a coconut. Yes, his wig does appear to be made of blue fiberglass. Yes, his painted-on shirt does boast a diamond-and-oranges pattern. Yes, that flower behind his ear is a come-on. (Yes, he is winking.) Yes, his belt is made of dripping paint (even though, yes, he is wearing no pants). Yes, he is hoisting a funnel of booze and balancing a bottle on his knee.

In the face of all the lesser violations against taste, we wondered how appetite could be stoked amid such brute ugliness. And now we can only throw up our hands and admit defeat. Somehow, we will never understand how, the animals' drive to die is matched only by their customers' drive to eat them. Thus is their symbiosis sanctified.

(Thanks to Dr. Shawna for the referral and the photo.)




3 comments:

mel said...

I'm not sure what the hell is going on with this one, but I'm pretty sure it's going to give me nightmares.

2greys said...

I don't think that's his lips, I think that's a moustache. Now...it isn't as bad as you originally thought, eh?

CurseYouPikachu said...

Oh dear God.
I agree with Grey--I believe that is a moustache.
The only way they could make this more ugly is if they gave him a little hat, in my opinion.
I'm permanently scarred by this.
... I've also sent it to several people I don't like. ;)