Saturday, November 17, 2007

Shootem in the Lips

Are you like us? Do you find the culture of hunting's power to fascinate equaled only by its power to frighten? This fascinating, frightening image comes to us from the Shootem in the Lips decoy, duck blind, and bird-shooting company. They specialize in items designed to help you (well, no, perhaps not you) blast ducks and geese into the Great Beyond before they know what hit 'em.

Note that SITL dispenses with hunting's tiresome litany: stewardship of nature, blah blah blah, keeping balance in the environment, blah blah blah, deep and abiding respect for the animals on which we depend...

No, they replace all that hogwash with a boldly stated desire to trick ducks into coming close and then shooting them in the face.

But wait! Before we malign the unsportsmanlike sportsmen of Shootem in the Lips, we should remember that the duck in their logo is in on the fun. He (yes, he—this is a red-blooded mallard) has done himself up in candy-apple red lipstick, to provide a can't-miss target for even the poorest marksman.

He thereby enters the annals of suicidefoodism as our first example of the Complicit Animal, Hunting Division. We've seen self-grinding and self-saucing pigs before, but this is the first "game" animal to make it easy on his killers. Nice job, Shootem in the Lips duck!

5 comments:

Francois Tremblay said...

Here we see a very rare individual of the species Clownus Anatidae, the Clown Duck. Unfortunately the Clownus Anatidae is on the way to extinction because of its absurdly oversized bright red lip-like structures, used to attract females. The Clown Duck, like the Duck-Billed Platypus, has been often labeled "Zeus' private joke."

Anonymous said...

What??????????????????????

Lisa S. said...

it worries me that they want to shoot male ducks who enjoy a bit of lipstick once in a while.... At least it wasn't some duck pin-up winking extra long eyelashes!!

botgd77 said...

it really worries me that there are that many morons in this world that know nothing about hunting in the real world. it just proves to me that everybody that doesn't hunt are douchbags

Anonymous said...

Goodness, thank you Botgd77!

Obviously the bit about responsible hunting (paragraph 2) was us being ignorant morons. How could we miss that?

- HareTrinity