Friday, November 9, 2007

D'Artagnan Foie Gras

The duck is dashing, his broad-brimmed hat sporting a festive plume. The sash hints at the official burgundy worn by the real d'Artagnan (that's Charles de Batz-Castelmore, Comte d'Artagnan to you).

It is easy to imagine our d'Ucktagnan in keeping with Michael York's 1973 portrayal: his young musketeer was brash but hapless, full of easy charm. The d'Artagnan duck embodies this same joie de vivre.

And just as the 17th century d'Artagnan served his lord totally—Louis XIV, the Sun King, le roi soleil—so this one serves the d'Artagnan brand of game and livestock meat products above all.

Yet something is missing from the portrait. Have you noticed? His feet are there. His legs. His wings. His back. His neck, his long, gracile neck. But what of his head? The duck is missing his head! However to account for this? We jest. Nothing could be simpler. The symbolism couldn't be more blatant.

They can't bear to look him in the eye. After ramming the feeding tube down that long, gracile neck time and time again, cramming it down his throat again and again, pumping in the grain until his liver is distended and diseased, they simply cannot bear to look him in the eye, lest they see in his exhausted gaze some trace of… what? Emotion? Misery? The preternatural power of the martyr?

(Grover Maurice Godwin, in his Hunting Serial Predators, relates this piece of "wisdom" from career killers who have learned to cover the faces of their victims: "Faces scream at you." How apt. They also accuse.)

And finally, the Suicide Food blog panel asked us to make the following statement:
While we find foie gras to be the foulest of all so-called luxury foods, our professional integrity demanded that we award only 1 (one) noose to the d'Artagnan logo. While grotesque—for what it glosses over, if not for what it depicts—its very bloodlessness, its graphic innocence, makes a higher noose-count unwarranted.
Grudgingly, we have honored their wishes.

27 comments:

Francois Tremblay said...

Having been raised in a french culture, I do think you're full of it (HAH!). Foie gras is a staple of good food, and it's a shame that you Americans are not familiar enough with the whole range of cretonnades, pates and foie gras to which I am accustomed. (mostly because it means I can't find them anywhere)

Ben said...

Very good then.

Just means more things-that-don't-involve-force-feeding-ducks for the rest of us!

Francois Tremblay said...

Stupid ignorant Americans.

Lisa J. (aka Oboe-Wan) said...

I'm happy to say I've never eaten exploded fatty duck liver on a cracker (or even on my finger).

At least this image doesn't show the food overflowing out of the duck's mouth. (Maybe that's why his head is covered?)

Ben said...

Let us praise the tender sensibilities of the foie gras producers!

bazu said...

*shakes head sadly*

Becky said...

Research came out in June from the University of Tennessee Graduate School of Medicine professor and researcher Alan Solomon, M.D., director of the Human Immunology and Cancer/Alzheimer's Disease and Amyloid-Related Disorders Research Program that showed a relationship with eating foie gras prepared from goose or duck liver and the type of amyloid found in rheumatoid arthritis or tuberculosis. They used commercially sold foie gras from the US and France.
Dr. Solomon said "Our study looked at the existence of amyloid fibrils in foie gras and showed that it could accelerate the development of AA amyloidosis in susceptible mice. Perhaps people with a family history of Alzheimer's disease, diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis or other amyloid-associated diseases should avoid consuming foie gras and other foods that may be contaminated with fibrils."

Francois Tremblay said...

Yea okay, that's great. Except that most people generally eat it once a month or less, so your point is kinda lost here. Your little abstract there had absolutely no mention whatsoever of concentration or dosage, which is the finest sign of a quackery.

Desdemona said...

Eating someone's liver is like sucking on the filter from your air-conditioner after a long, hot summer.

That is all.

jjr said...

I am also European... and firmly side w. the "ignorant" Americans on this one. You know what? F*%$ la France, with its ridiculous ideas of "gourmet" and "luxury" foods, means of production be damned!! no wonder Hitler (not actually a vegetarian, btw) invaded, probably felt right at home.

Francois Tremblay said...

WOW. Comparing fine eating to Nazism? And you people say I'M offensive!

Like I said, there's no end to the depravity a veg*n can exhibit!

Desdemona said...

I would argue that the act of force-feeding an innocent animal until its liver is bloated and distended trumps to satisfy the warped gustatory cravings of overfed (self-described) epicures trumps any verbal opinion on the subject in terms of "depravity."

Francois Tremblay said...

You *would*, but unless you can equate the genocide of six million people with force-feeding geese, I still feel justified in calling you insane.

Desdemona said...

I know I'm going to be sorry to take this rotting bait, but...who decided it was a contest? Is there some sort of sliding scale of atrocity that determines when it's okay to be offended by wanton, unnecessary cruelty? Isn't it reasonable to deplore any and all needless violence and/or suffering? No-one is arguing that the Nazi holocaust was anything but a hideous blot on human history...does that have to mean that all other cruelty is a-okay in comparison?

Francois Tremblay said...

If you think I'm talking to you to bait you into anything, then don't say anything, you condescending ass. I don't want to talk to anyone who treats this as some kind of game.

Desdemona said...

Okay, henceforth I shall refrain from further wasting my eloquence on such a patently oblivious target (that means I'm taking my ball & going home).

So I guess that means you WIN!

Bon appetit!

Lisa J. said...

WOW. Comparing fine eating to Nazism? And you people say I'M offensive!

Actually, jjr was referring to the misinformation floating around that Hitler was a vegetarian. I don't see anything in the post comparing fois gras to Nazism. you were the one who said it.

Francois Tremblay said...

And I quote:

"F*%$ la France, with its ridiculous ideas of "gourmet" and "luxury" foods, means of production be damned!! no wonder Hitler (not actually a vegetarian, btw) invaded, probably felt right at home."

Francois Tremblay said...

I do not "win." Maybe you people treat it like a game, but I don't. I don't take the disgusting shit (there's no other word strong enough) you've been saying on these blog threads as a game. If you think it's a fun game to drag out Nazism, slavery and the Holocaust for your petty little moral comparisons, then you're a brainless twit who deserves no attention.

quackjob said...

In this case, people do act like nazi's. Preying on the weak and torturing beautiful animals to death. If your are so un-moved, go to www.peta2.com and watch the video for "it's no fun having things shoved down your throat. Make sure to watch the part where the ducks are so over fed that they can't walk and are getting eaten alive by rats. If this is a delicacy, you french are sick.

quackjob said...

The govoner of california, the man himself, Arnold, has signed a bill recognizing this is torture. and i trying to ban it in this state. Hopefully the entire U.S. will ban it. I will be one of those helping.

Francois Tremblay said...

So your position is that we should shoot those farmers? Or just put them in jail for 20 or 30 years? Or what?

If they are the more equivalent of the SS officers, then they should get the same punishment, no?

Desdemona said...

Francois, I can't decide if you're actually retarded or merely being deliberately obtuse. Thankfully, I don't care. However, I do think you should find some like-minded people to go torture and eat animals with, thereby sparing yourself the mental torment of the--what was it again?--"moral depravity" found here, so wounding to your obviously sensitive, compassionate soul. Via con dios, my darling.

quackjob said...

What happened to those people was a tragedy. So is this. It has a comparison value. Most psycologists say that human aggression to other humans begins with animal abuse. It's documented in many cases in the psyshoanalysis world. it is a fact that can not be overlooked. Being inhuman to people begins with the inhumanity of animals. Those who feel superior to others have a tendency to torture them. You can fight your view all you want, the proof is there. I'm out to show those ignorant people the videoed proof.

quackjob said...

I take it you have not watched the video.......

quackjob said...

P.S. I never said i was a vegetarian. I just think there is a more human way to treat the creatures in this world before we send them into the immortal beyond.

quackjob said...

Here's a couple more for you....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBQN8qE-Gg4&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32815SIgq1A&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6bRb0m86g4&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IWN8UGDyC0