Light It Up BBQ

We look on this scene and are abashed. All this time, all these images recorded, catalogued, and discussed, and we never stopped to consider the origins of suicide food's suicidal tendencies. We just assumed that these poor creatures were hit with the Crazy Hammer one day—pow!—and that was that. After all, hopping into the fire looked to be the easiest and most natural thing in the world. For some, at any rate.

Now we see! It is not always so. And oh, the short shrift we have given these animals. Perhaps more effort is involved than we ever suspected. Or, it is true, more than we ever took the time even to consider.

This effete (and almost intolerably crudely rendered) pig presents the perfect example. There is, we now see, a science to self-immolation. An art! (Who cares that the title of his book is printed on the back cover instead of the front? Perhaps the book is in Japanese. Or Hebrew. And what's it to you, anyway? Where's your feeling, your gratitude?)

Regardless, the pig, like all suicidal food—whether innately warped, self-taught, or bookish—takes his work seriously. He will master this. He will sacrifice himself for the "greater good." Even if—especially if—it kills him.






Addendum: During our research, we happened upon this strikingly similar image. We don't pretend to be well schooled in the field of intellectual property, but we found it noteworthy.