Monday, January 1, 2007

Surf & Turf Bar-B-Cue Classic

At last! After the parade of suicidal creatures offering themselves up to every Barbecue Joe across this great land of ours—something new! Here we have something more than the ordinary suicide. Here is a murder-suicide!

Any pig can throw himself on the coals and invite the boys to dig in. Imperial Beach, California, requires more. Hence, the frisky pig hanging, um, four. In barbecue gear, no less. He will prove not only how tasty he is, but also how radical he is (as well as awesome).

But where this pig separates himself from the sty is in his shortboard companion. As the pig rides a killer wave, he chokes his chicken (!), presumably bringing them both to the spit. In short, he is beyond gnarly. Beyond suicidal. He has coasted into that riptide known as psychopathic. The panic on the chicken's face is evident, and the pig just laps it up.

What is it about this tableau that is presumed to appeal to would-be barbecue patrons? No, really. The whole business is ghastly and, in a perfect world, would scare people away more surely than trichinosis.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Mmm... choked chicken? Yuck.