Monday, December 20, 2010

Kick in the Butt BBQ

Getting kicked hard enough to produce stars and bootprints ought to serve as a signal that something's gone wrong with your life plan.

Alas, not for suicidal pigs.

These proud beasts eat maiming abuse for breakfast. (As opposed to the kicked pig seen here, who, inexplicably, would just as soon not be kicked into a fire. Selfish bastard.) No, they understand that disfiguring violence is part of the social contract. In exchange for getting killed and eaten, they are brutalized… by boots…

All right, all right. Let's be fair. The pigs aren't very bright.

So instead of objecting to their hideous mistreatment, they slip on their coolest victim shades, lift their haunches just so, and… wait for it. Wait for it. Now!

With a deafening whomp, the happy pig goes ham-over-teakettle. This is his "Please, sir! May I have another!" moment, and he loves it.

This image contains everything you need to know about the study we've made of deranged "food" animals these past years. It is a pure distillation of an entrenched philosophy. A philosophy with the power to warp pigs' minds.

Addendum: An earlier version of their logo. You can see that since then they've really refined the effect of the numbing impact. The sunglasses were there from the beginning, though.

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