Friday, December 22, 2006

Main Street BBQ


No longer content to butcher the innocent and unsuspecting, now we demand the flesh of the insane. Has any “livestock” exhibited such delusion? This poor benapkinned creature is obviously awaiting a lavish feast. Look at that expectant face and his raised glass ready to offer all due compliments to the chef. (And is that a fork in his trotter?) Here is our surrogate diner. And yet—and yet!—he has the Apple of Death in his mouth, and the now-standard wall of flames behind him. Clearly, he is the guest of an altogether different sort of honor!

But how we laugh! Stupid pig doesn’t know he’s about to undergo the Torquemada knife and fork treatment! But how could he not? What did he think when he accepted the apple? “Thank you for the appetizer, sir”?

Surely this one, at least, has earned a pardon.

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