Monday, May 23, 2011

Ogeechee Meat Market

BACKSTAGE RIDER

COW must be provided with the following:

  • 1 pair sunglasses (Sunset Boulevard style);

  • 1 cowbell-type bell, copper or bronze (no tin), collar to be made of leather, preferably from carcass of COW's children or other family members;

  • Furthermore:

  • All meat market employees will address COW as "Hey, You" or "Beef Face";

  • In the event that live transport is required, any and all trucks must be filthy and unventilated;

  • In keeping with COW's status as a beloved celebrity, only high quality knives, cleavers, chains, and buckets may be used in the slaughter and dismemberment of COW. (Equipment need not be cleaned prior to use.)

  • COW appreciates your cooperation.

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